To whom it may concern…

A friend contemplating leaving her husband; a twisted web of betrayal and mistresses; lives being destroyed and consumed with alcohol; my own relationship struggles, these are all the things I could talk about. Yet I am constantly in this pull and tug over using this as a forum to tell my friends or even my own business. It is exactly those moments that inspire me because they are what make us all human.PULL.
I am now torn because no matter how much I try to disguise the stories by changing names, those involved will not be very happy with their business being broadcast on the interweb.TUG.
Case in point, when I decided to do this, I talked to my love about being nervous about this leading me to not having any friends. He was very supportive, reminding me that writing is important to me and my friends probably need to hear it anyways. Until the idea crossed his mind that he too could be talked about. Quickly it became a discussion about leaving some things off limits. Truly the last thing that I want to do is cause turmoil in my relationship.PULL. Yet I know that anyone that has ever been involved in a grown relationship would understand what I need to get off my chest. Let’s face it no matter how in love or compatible two people are, there will be something that leads to fights.TUG. With all that being said I have told myself that I will never write with the intention of hurting him, no matter how angry I might be at the moment. This will not be used to bad mouth or bitch about my relationship.EXHALE.
Then there is the matter of friendships being lost. Living in such a small community it definitely won’t be very hard for many to put two and two together. So really, who am I to take events in others lives to utilize for my benefit.TUG. There is the possibility that some people could get hurt when they realize it is them I am talking about.PULL. I have prided myself on being a true friend that does not judge or condemn people for being human. With this blog I have the potential to go against that by the mere act of writing. TUG. Of course there is also the fact that some would be surprised to hear how I truly felt about situations or even just them in general. PULL.
This just goes to show how using a forum that could be so public can be dangerous to all kinds of relationships. It’s those possibilities that make me still hesitant to open myself up again. I remember the first time I performed a piece about my childhood in front of my mother. I was so nervous that she would be angry. Especially if she was asked about things from listeners that made her uncomfortable. When that exact situation presented itself she looked at the person and said, ‘we all have things in our past. What happened, happened.’ It is that statement that made me realize that life is full of ups, downs, pulls and tugs. It’s what we do with them that is important in life. So I am going to exhale and say this to all that I care about… I will do my best to never call anyone out directly. I, like so many others use life experience to create and if your in my life- one of those experiences might come to light. So be understanding to that. Just think all those comedians and song writers out there use material from their life as well. At the end of the punch line is a person. As the last note fades off into the distance there is a story. The world is my muse and you all are apart of that.

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