Let’s be Honest Here

Today I was driving around so excited to see what the world would present me. What would arise that would start my rants flowing? What would inspire me to sit and express to the world things they see everyday in a way that would blow their mind? What would the world present me today? Today I realized that I was presented with the same things everyday and it wasn’t the world that I needed to grab hold of… it was motivation that I needed to grasp.
Motivation to stick to the commitment I made to do this project. I had to chuckle when I realized that I am really easily distracted. And like that in a day this blog became not quite a nuisance but something to avoid. The dishes that I’ve had no problem ignoring before, just had to been done. That movie that I’ve seen a million times, just had to be watched. That couple of hours without any kids, just had to be spent out with friends.(Well okay that one I’ll let slide because my friends are crucial to me not killing anyone.) Yet on the same hand I can make them the reason for not meeting a deadline. I’ll make anything poetic and romantic just to not have to do something.
That is when I remembered what my life was like before this last baby. If my other children were with their father I would spend my time with the greatest distraction of all… the liquid distraction. I still remember night after night of doing the same thing and clasping onto that one little something to make it all worthwhile. So and so falling would be a joke that would last until the next thing. Which would be someone getting pulled over. Maybe someone would get so lucky as to get tased, so we could have days of jokes. Those jokes would be enough to keep me going for more. Those nights were just enough to keep me from doing the stuff I knew I should have been doing. And just like that I realized that this blog isn’t a nuisance it’s the opposite.
This is going to be my healthy distraction. Which is enough to get me motivated. Weird how that works. So with that I say good night and promise that every log might not change your life. But everyone little by little is changing mine.

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